_______________________
He drove to her after work
Traffic
He was anxious
And needing
She was gone when he arrived
Ballet
One of her obsessions.
True love
He knew her expectations.
Her expectations and desires relaxed him
He pulled his car into the garage
He stripped before he came into the house
Putting his belongings away
on his shelf in the mud room
He looked at the time on his phone before stowing it away
She expected him to keep time internally
Something she’d expected of him from the beginning
He had mastered this skill
“Mastered”
funny
He began by kneeling
naked
Hands by his sides
Eyes cast down
His mind focused on Sola
for 7 minutes
In gratitude
In meditation
In reverence
for her
He dressed in his running clothes
He would have time for a 32 minute run
He started off slowly
jetting into a sprint at the 3 minute mark
Feeling the cool autumn air
The sweet smell of leaves decaying
Letting the day fall behind him
Clearing it all out
Once back at the house
He showered
3 minutes
Oiled his body like she liked
He kneeled in waiting
edging
Next to her bed
Bringing his mind back to her and this
Over and over
Everytime he veered
He corrected
the need
He found himself hoping she would not bring friends home tonight
He wasn’t supposed to hope
But sometimes he hoped
He needed tonight
He felt empty and disconnected
never unsure
His mind kept wandering to hope
To what he wanted
He’d interrupt it
But it kept coming back
He heard her car
She was home
He closed his eyes
He could feel her coming towards him
Her energy approaching
Please no more cars
stop hoping.
{It’s not about me}